Bug Wars 2025

After having the window open during the entire night, I woke up today with a huge fucking spider just casually sitting in one of the corners of the room.
Now, look. I adore nature.
I really, really want to behave nicely towards all living beings (apart from a few humans), but I cannot fucking handle bugs.
Spiders are the worst (yes, not insects, anarchids), with wasps and hornets being a close second, followed by stink bugs, worms, centipedes, silverfish, anything that buzzes, wriggles or flies. I have never in my life seen a cockroach, but I have heard that they tend to fly at your face, so I, naturally (no pun intended, ha) hate those too, big time.
This spider was about the size of a fingernail, plus long, spindly legs. He was just sitting there, menacingly.
After like an hour of freaking out I took him out with the help of some hairspray and a music theory book.
Mind you, I can't really handle being in the same room as a bug. Let alone catching it into a glass or a tissue, anything that involves getting a closer look at the thing is causing absolute freaking havoc in me, so, maybe, what has happened later in the day should teach me something.
I was about to make dinner, I put some water to boil. Now, I have nets on all my windows, but they're a bit too small for the frame, so here and there, some poor soul crawls in and meets its fate then and there.
But this asshole was quick.
As soon as I heard the sloppy buzzing and a saw a large something fly at me from the edge of the window, I knew who this was. A stink bug. Absolutely fucking not.
I came at him with a kitchen towel, that was my first reflex. He flew around it. The kitchen towel, as I threw it (great move there), landed on the ceiling lamp. The bug crawled up the hanging kitchen towel, into the goddamn lamp.
He has not left since, and it's been like two hours. I have seen him crawling in there and trying to get out with no luck. I have seen him sitting at the edge of it, close to freedom, but then I poked the lamp with a broom, and he, instead of flying away, crawled back in, very slowly.
As if he was mocking me.
I did not end up making dinner.
And that, my friends, is the introduction to the October issue of Ni!
I am writing this at the end of september. It is either Indian summer already, or it is still, you know, regular summer, and I am eagerly waiting for the colder weather to just stay colder, and autumn to fully bloom.
And also for all of the bugs to leave me the hell alone.
I do not know what this issue will be about yet, but I do have many ideas, and I hope you will like it.
I wish to overcome my fear of bugs, so I can just catch them and release them, because as much as they make me fear existence, they're innocent.
I wish to complete and release this issue on time.
I wish for you to have a nice day. Week. Month.
I wish for October to be magical.
Lesgo!

It's 6 pm, dark outside, and I'm having my first beer in a while and like the 700th cigarette of the day.
I haven't smoked in like 3 months.
I brought my laptop with me, hoping that my very obvious crashout will at least spark some inspiration within. I guess this is the ideal time to talk about music. It's what I live for, what I do for a living, what I do for fun, what gets me through life.
Without it, I don't think I would be of much use on this existential plane.
I constantly annoy people in my life with music recommendations, ideas, playlists, song ideas, and now is the time to annoy whoever is reading this.
Autumn - the month of october, to be exact, is the time of the year during which I automatically, as if it was a natural reflex, start listening to primarily one band - that band being Type O Negative.

Once again, I am sitting in a pub. In the same one, actually, that I was sitting at while writing the previous section. I am painfully sober for how I feel (and for the topic I am about to write about), drinking only a raspberry and mint lemonade that is somehow way too sweet, even for me. There's an overly motivated waiter circling my table every 2 minutes, scanning everyone and everything in the smoking area, and it's making me kind of nervous. I did not dare to write the full name of this article across my whole screen. Just in case he saw it. As much as I like to pretend that just generally don't give a fuck, I think I would find at least two or three to give if someone actually fully noticed the words on my screen. I thought naming this section this way was a very edgy, clever joke when I thought about it back in like...september. During the process of writing the lyrics section for the previous issue, I, again, found myself mesmerized by the ridiculousness of Dick Valentine's lyrics so much, that I instantly decided to dedicate a whole separate article to just those and those only. Today, I introduce to you

I have no idea what is going on from the very start of the song, I just imagine a (somehow) deadly dance competition in an underground club, on a dancefloor shining with all the colours of the rainbow (just like the one on the cover of Fire).
And I am actually impressed here, by how well such long sentence like the one about ripping a girl apart with bare hands (I love it, sue me) flow within the rythm of the song. This is one of my favourites on the album, I love the crazy synths going on through the chorus.
Another one I think is worth to mention would be the last track of the same album - Future Is In The Future.
I have a soft spot for this one. I was on a tour in Germany with our orchestra in 2019, spending 90% of the time in the bus, getting from one city to another, day after day.
I've been listening to this song on repeat, watching the other cars and city lights fly by, imagining a future way brighter than the one that hit us all in 2020.

Okay, I just now decided that all of these will be from Senor Smoke, because I cannot get over how much I like this next one as well. The ninth track on the album, Dark Angel, has pretty much all of the lyrical freedom, doesn't try to tip toe around with any deep meanings, and still manages to be a solid, beautiful rock number. The beginning is very strong...

...the first chorus continues just as good...

...the pre - second chorus is just honestly my favourite lyric to randomly scream into the void of my own home...

...and the second and last chorus ends beautifully.

A very magical interview with Lucas, the magician

Okay, look, I know the title is cringey, but I couldn't think of a better idea for the life of me. I mean, you could say that the evening was a little bit magical.
It was already dark outside, it was raining softly, we were sitting at a café on Kapucínska street and talked just about anything until they were closing, and I didn't even start asking questions yet. We found a pub where we could hear eachother and talked some more. What came out of that is, to me, a pretty interesting interview.
I met Lucas quite the time ago, back in the old Tepláreň on Zámocká street.
We both were performing at the monthly cabaret, I was singing some stupid songs and he was eating razor blades. I remember I was very confident in my determination to find out how he does it, basically looking into his mouth from the small balcony over the stage.
To this day, I have no idea how he does it.
He just fucking eats razor blades.
I cursed silently, watching from the balcony, and he looked up at me, smiling, amused.
Since then, we always run into eachother at various cabarets and open stages in Bratislava, and I believe it was at the last one (Rozbi Póium open stage, april this year), during which we actually had a longer conversation about magicians and everything related, in the backstage. I didn't have any magazine idea in mind back then, but I remember thinking that I would absolutely read or watch an interview with this guy. I was impressed by his vast knowledge of the present, but mainly the history of this art, and how thoroughly and seriously he everything around it it.
It was because of this that he came to mind when I was thinking about starting to interview people for Ni!. I got in touch with him back in september, and was glad that he agreed to do it.
Dear audience, Lukas Illusion.

How would you introduce yourself?

I am a variety performer. Some would say I'm a magician, some would say I'm an illusionist...it could even be more poetic, like, I'm a...

...wizard?

laughter Well, it has been said to me that I am not a magician, I am an artist - an illusionist. That is mostly how other people introduce me.

What is even the difference between a magician and an illusionist?

When I asked non-magicians about it, they told me that someone who pulls white rabbits out of hats is a magician, and that an illusionist is someone whose act looks, and overall feels more magical, more mysterious. An illusionist doesn't just do sparkly, colorful tricks, but pulls you in more into the whole happening on the stage. Well, we are talking about how other people see it. If I wanted to be exact, a magician and an illusionist can be the same thing. We can call a magician who performs so-called stage illusions with large stage props, often including people or animals, an illusionist.

Someone like David Copperfield?

Yes, Copperfield level, Sigfriend and Roy, Criss Angel...these are things that are described differently by magicians/illusionists themselves as well, and then there's the audience's point of view. The magic happens in their heads, so it's important to consider the way they see it. There are different categories in this as well. One of the ways we can differentiate between them is separating micromagic, general magic and stage illusions - therefore speaking of micromagicians, magicians and illusionists.

Do you rememeber the time you decided to be a magician?

I remember it very clearly!...I don´t remember how old I was laughter but I was little, and I was watching television. There was a magician on it, performing the linking rings trick. I caught the magic bug then and there. This trick is very straightforward - you have a circle, a simple geometric shape, you have another one, you link them. It's impossible, but the magician somehow does it! Actually, if you asked me about my favourite trick...

I was just gonna ask that now.

Linking rings is my favourite trick. I used to perform it, I don't nowadays, but I'm planning on getting back to it.

Do you remember your first trick?

The first source I got my knowledge from was actually the first book about magic tricks written in the slovak language - Kúzla a čary (meaning "Tricks and magic" editor's note) by Ladislav Horal. I learned from it how to put a pencil through a piece of cloth. Penetration, in magician's language. When I learned that trick, I showed it to my classmates. I went to a catholic school, mind you. One teacher, whom I only told about the trick, instantly offered me an explanation for it. She said that it's the devil's work. That the pencil dissolves on one side of the cloth, and materializes anew on the other end - with the help of the devil, of course - and that I shouldn't be getting into things like that.

When did you initially start performing, and what inspired you to do so ?

My first performances basically consisted of milking that one slovak book. laughter It's not bottomless, not everything has to fit your idea, not everything has to fit your style, and ofcourse, if you're doing more than one show, you can't use the same tricks. It really was a time of fervent page turning, scratching, thinking about what to combine...My first performances were in the family, and later expanded elsewhere. For example, someone had a party, they invited me to perform, so on and so forth. What inspired me to perform...well, what is a performer without an audience ? I wanted to share the beauty of it with others.

Did you ever reveal a trick after you showed it to your classmates?

Never have I ever revealed a trick. If you spend a lot of time and effort learning something, only to fully give it away in the end, it all comes to waste. Although, the most important reason for me is that I would shatter the illusion for the audience. They would lose the excitement, enchantment and could be dissapointed to see that these things are not as fantastical as they look.

Whom do you consider your magician idol?

There's many people I admire, each one of them is inspirational to me for a different reason. Inspiration can be always taken from different performers. Some magicians who want to get better take inspiration only from other magicians. In that case, though, they will only be moving on the scale from the worst to the best magician. A magician is a theater actor, after all. He can absolutely take various aspects from various kinds of performers. If he wants his voice to be better, he will learn from a singer. If he wants to move in a captivating way, he will learn from dancers. If he wants to add a bit of grace, femininity into his act, he can get inspired by burlesque dancers. Drag queens are also a great source of inspiration. There is a lot you can learn from them - beautiful costume designs, performance art, anything you can think of.

What is your opinion on people like The Masked Magician, who reveal illusions to the public?

In the past it was The Masked Magician. There always were and will be such people - today it's these...revealers, who get views by revealing all of these tricks and illusions. Always was, always will be. I can't do anything about it other than not support it. The Masked Magician was defended by the argument, that his whole deal was to get magicians to think of different ways to approach these illusions...even, to attract more potential magicians to join...from what I see, he was successful with both of these concepts. There's different things people like about magicianship. Someone likes to just trip a little on seeing something seemingly impossible, someone treats tricks like riddles that they then try to crack, other people know what is happening, and enjoy how it all comes together. Someone likes the front end, someone likes the back end.

Did it ever happen to you that a trick failed to come out the way you wanted it to ? Or that there were any problems with hecklers in the audience ?

It sure did, the trick (no pun intended, editor's note) is to act it out in a way that the audience doesn't notice. It's only a problem if I make it into one. Hecklers act out from time to time, again, it's up to me to handle it well. If the heckler disrupts the performance in a way that it's bothering other people in the audience, then that's bad. But if it's just a little bit, it can sometimes make the act even more interesting. Now, I'm not saying people should heckle, the less experienced the performer, the more it will affect the performance in a bad way...there's lots of types of people in the audience. A skilled performer should know how to handle them.

Do you believe in actual magic? Or better yet, do you believe people who, for example, practice wicca rituals and say they're in contact with spirits or certain energies ?

This is not my thing. If you read a book about wicca rituals and practice them accordingly, you invest energy into it...then you really did read a book and are doing rituals accordingly, you really are dedicated to it and really are calling yourself a witch. I don't think it's important what I think about it, rather than whether or not the person who does this believes in it. What are the results of such practices, what are the benefits, I do not know. Although it is true that there is a lot of...charlatan figthers amongst magicians. Spiritualists (psychics, mediums and such) often used magcians'techniques to convince people of their powers. Magicians didn't like that, because it was presented as a real thing. A magician will tell you that he will trick you, and he really will trick you. It's sort of an unspoken rule between him and the audience, but everyone knows what he does is not real. And so it was that a lot of times, magicians would reveal the practices of these spiritualists. Harry Houdini, for example, was very much one of them. He used to be very close to his mother, and when she passed away, he went to a medium, who was supposed to contact her for him. She did her thing, and, apparently, the mom was talking pure nonsense. Houdini got angry and started revealing spiritualists from then on. This is a very simple retelling of the whole story, but Houdini was very knowledgeable about spiritualists. He wrote a few books about the topic as well. James Randi was a more recent one, who used to have a TV show in which he promised a million dollars or so to anyone who would prove to him their supernatural abilities to be true, through undergoing a bunch of tests. Nobody ever won the prize.

You are a part of the Nevidíte? Novidíte! collective, a cabaret of magic. How did you guys get together ?

I used to organise meetings for magicians before covid. We used to meet once in two months, if I remember correctly. Then covid hit, the meetings stopped for a while, and then started meeting again, just a few of us. Four of us, to be exact, and from these meetings the cabaret of magic came to be - the programe, project, performance. We premiered december 2020 for an invited audience. Since then, we perform in Slovakia and Czech Republic. By the way, I am also a member of the Czech Magician Union (Český Magický Svaz - editor's note), which is an organisation unifying czech, slovak and foreign magicians as well. It has been active for quite some time now, they organise festivals, support events...publishes the Moderní Magie (Modern Magic) magazine, a proffesional magicians'magazine. I contribute to it with my articles sometimes.

Do you think that anyone can become a magician? Or does one have to have specific talent ?

...depends on how you look at the question. Can anyone become a surgeon? Theoretically, yes, practically, mostly not. They can try, but...laughter ofcourse it's not prohibited for anyone to try, but there are certain prerequisities, for example certain manual dexterity, or the ability to present, which...tend to predetermine either succesful continuation or a succesful exit. laughter

All Saints, Halloween, Samhain

It's october 31st, 2025. Woke up, practically knocked back a cup of very sugary coffee, opened laptop. Edited the interview a little bit according to Lukáš's notes. Made some buttons work, finally. Opened the windows, turned on the washing machine, vacuumed, cleaned the floors. Shut the window again, because a fucking stink bug somehow got on the inside of the net again. Cleaned the kitchen, threw trash out, cleaned the bathroom. Put clothes in the machine, while putting other clothes out to dry (bunch of black shirts and pants and a skeleton constume for 12 year old boys that somehow fit me, that I had on during the recent Carpal Tunnel Sisters concert. I wanted it to be a reference to John Entwistle's skeleton suit, ended up looking like an overgrown kid that refuses to stop trick or treating at 18). Dusted, changed the sheets. Re-did my altar (yes, I have an altar. No, I won´t say for what...Satan, obviously). Took an everything-shower, put on a nice dress, let my hair down, sat on the bed, opened my laptop again, and now I'm here. I´ve been wondering why do I feel like fainting for the past hour, as I am just now finding out that it´s two in the afternoon, and the only thing in my stomach is that one cup of coffee I had at 9 am. Silly me.

Yes, I have to eat, but I also really like this day, and this holiday, and I like to make it a little bit special for myself, and when I can, others as well. In my family, we celebrate All Saints Eve (or the more colloquial "Spirits") on the 1st of november. Around that time we visit family, go to cemeteries to clean the graves, bring flowers and burn candles to honour our deceased family members, and attend special masses in the church - something I am no longer a part of for quite some time now, as I was raised a catholic christian, but as of now I don't consider myself a part of that religion, or any religion, really, anymore, due to personal reasons. I do, however, like to participate in the graveyard and family visits, it is something that has always felt special to me since a young age.

The crisp air, sometimes rain or even snow (I do remember snowy early novembers back in the day), the view of the misty cemeteries, smell of burning candles, a lot of people in one place, whispering instead of being loud. Remembering family members that passed away and listening to stories about them, even those I have never met. My mum likes to tell me about her dad, my grandpa, who sadly passed away when she and her siblings were still very young. I love to listen to stories about him, though I do get sad that I can never meet him. He seemed like quite the character, bold, hardworking, confident but loving and, as my mum likes to say, always smiling. May he rest in peace.

For the second year in a row, I reminisce about our family dog, Charlie, who passed away in may last year. Good boy was 14 years old and just one month away from turning 15. I miss him dearly and wish I would have visited way more before it happened, as he lived with my mum back then. He was an absolute ray of sunshine. Sometimes, like a kid, I wish there would be a special heaven just for dogs, where they could just be eternally happy. If there is one, he's definitely there, carrying leaves in his mouth in exchange for treats, frantically licking the angel's ears, somehow sounding like a duck everytime he barks during play. I will always carry a little bit of him in my heart.

And now I'm crying. Great.

Anyway. As much as I like the peaceful and quiet nature of this holiday in Slovakia (that, despite being celebrated mostly by christians, has a very apparent base in pagan practices - as have a lot of holidays claimed by this religion), I absolutely love the kitch and playfulness of Halloween. I know a lot of people in Slovakia are downright allergic to this word, as they want to keep the All Saints holiday for what it is, but as far as I know, there's no harm in having a little fun before you quiet down and get serious. I may be quite biased, as I have loved everything creepy and spooky since I was a kid - I blame my dad who, being a good scare lover himself, introduced me to old Vincent Price movies and various horror classics, along with The Exorcist when I was just 12 (mum was not happy when she found out). And, me being a regular cabaret freak, I obviously love to dress up. It's like the holiday has been handcrafted to fit all my exhibitionist needs.

Now, I have not been to a party like that in some time, until this year. I have written this issue of Ni! almost entirely outside - spending my whole evenings in random pubs, then walking around the city, getting a slice of pizza, watching the people and just not going home until it was entirely too late. Through this practice, I ended up at an office Halloween party, of all places. I was just about to go home, when a friend (whose workplace held said party) texted that the party is quite dead. No pun intended.

"You wanna come? There's four people here and we have a lot of beer to finish."

Don't mind if I do.

It ended up being a really nice evening. They had decorations and quite nice and creative costumes, I've met some really nice people, laughed my ass off at a selection of the best random callcenter callers, and was shown a whole playlist of music that I am delighted to know exists (like Tatrofka 200025000, for example). I got home around 1.

Today, I am going to a concert. A band I have never listened to or seen live, but from what I have gathered from their instagram posts (Samo Benko is the main guy's name), they're pretty fucking good. I'm going with my band, as at first, we really just wanted to experience the venue to see if we could possibly pull it off next year (it's somehow a 360 degree stage). Now I'm also quite excited for the music.

It has also been stated, that the audience should wear costumes. Hell fucking yeah, finally.

I am not putting the fucking skeleton on again, no. One person is gonna be an Easter Bunny of death (a reference to my song, I feel entirely honored), the other one is Ozzy Osbourne (a Shein version, if you will), and I am the bat that he pretend-decapitated.

I am not 100% commited, as I have asked the friend to not actually bite my head off. Too much, in my opinion (insert sitcom laughter).

As a honorable costume mention, one of my insane cousins takes the cake.

"I'm going to a mini party as well, they have mandatory masks. I'm going to be the Slutty Red Riding Hood. Or karkurva. (editor's note - Karkulka is the Slovak/Czech version of the LRRH. I don't think I have to explain what kurva is.)

Any way you decide to spend this beautiful time of the year, I hope it brings you either peace, joy or both. Take care and seeya in November. :3